NO SHAME IN BEING CONFUSED.

I don’t like it when people shame others for being confused. I think it is an unhealthy thing to do. Frankly, I don’t like when people shame others for any reason. My disdain for that kind of people stems from the fact that I hate humiliation. I don’t believe in it. I refuse to accept that feeling ashamed makes you work harder or better. I am not a part of “team-humiliation”. I cringe whenever I see people humiliating others. It makes the neurons in my brain fire at the speed of light, and I try my best to keep my composure. I simply hate it.

I have heard pompous individuals claim they are never confused. That is mathematically impossible, so I wish they could just shut up, but they won’t. Do you have any idea how preposterous that sounds? Never being confused implies you have answers for everything, to any situation. Not only does it mean that you know everything, it also means you understand human emotions better than any human being in history. It means you are always in control. It means you don’t lose your cool. It means you always read a situation and you figure things out. It means you never misfire and subliminally, it means you are that smart.

Well, let’s be honest, let’s be real: no one is that smart. No one has the supernatural ability to figure everything out. You know how I know that? Because no one is perfect. People simply don’t want to admit that they are confused sometimes. They are afraid to be perceived as lost. They think others might misinterpret being temporarily lost with weakness. People think they need to prove to others they are in control, that they are the alpha, the master of the universe! Others can get lost; they can trip and fall but not them. They are that good. Well, they are not.

There is no shame in being lost or confused. Allow me to use the word “confused”. I believe the word “lost” carries a negative connotation in people’s minds. Listen, you have the right to be confused. You have the right to not know. You have the right to sit down, breathe and collect your thoughts and emotions. This invulnerability thing that our parents and their parents before them have been hard selling to us (just the way it was sold to them) might be the end of us. We are not allowed to be vulnerable. Gods forbid we admit we are confused, and we are trying to figure things out. We are not allowed to take a break from life to breathe. We are not allowed to stop. Well, in the spirit of fairness and honesty, it is more accurate to say we can do all that, but it is seen as weakness or laziness. The weak gets eaten in the jungle anyway. Who wants to be seen as weak?

We don’t want to be confused. Life has a way of throwing challenges, problems, curses at you and you just take them. Since there isn’t one single school that teaches how to handle stress, emotions, breakups, death, illnesses, financial and marital issues, and so much more, well, we can only improvise. The latter isn’t the right solution but it’s the most common one. Some of us freeze. Some cry and scream. Others just shut down, they don’t talk to anybody and try to fix everything themselves, out of pride, out of habit or because of cultural reasons. No one wants to be confused but sadly, we are at times.

All I am trying to say is that it is perfectly alright to be confused. It is ok to be lost. I hope you get confused. There is no better quest than the one for self-discovery. Humans have this amazing ability to bounce back and find a way out of nearly every situation. It is alright to be scared, it is alright to ask questions. It is alright to not be able to see where we are headed. It is alright to have that fear. Don’t let fear or society tell you that you are unworthy because you are confused. Who are they to judge you anyway? Who are they to act all high and mighty? Who are they to judge your situation? Being confused usually ends up with clarity, just like the sky always becomes blue after heavy rain.

I have said this before. I have a hard time dealing with disrespect, humiliation and I cannot think clearly when either of those immensely negative feelings flood my heart. I have worked tirelessly to keep my cool when I am disrespected or humiliated. I am still working on it and I know I will always do. The one thing I can always count on is denying them to alter my sense of self. I will not let others make me feel inferior or scared for trying my best to figure things out. I don’t care who they are or what they have. I will figure what is going on in due time. I will take my time. You should do the same. Please know that if you are lost today, you might not be tomorrow. Do not hesitate to ask for help. I am positive you have someone around you to help you figure things out or someone who will just listen to you and hopefully, give you a perspective you haven’t thought of.

That is why it is extraordinarily important to have people around you, especially the right people, those you can help you question things and hopefully help you get to the answers you are looking for. Believe me when I tell you, that you will be just fine. Every bad situation always ends.

No shame in being confused. None whatsoever.

Just one man’s opinion.

Now smile and go on with your day.

Freeman. B

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