As a writer and an artist, there comes a time when you need to explain yourself on a subject. I am not prideful enough to believe I shouldn’t or will not explain myself. Sometimes, it is necessary. Clearing the air is never a bad thing. Sometimes, the subject matter can be ambiguous, rough, or explosive enough that it could push people away or they find themselves asking unanswerable questions. I do believe I am here to provoke debate, push the boundaries of conventional wisdom, disturb the social construct, inspire myself and others, hopefully make people laugh. Let’s just say my whole writing repertoire is as varied as one could be and I couldn’t be prouder of that. However, that means I touch subjects that might make people uncomfortable and as I am ok with being uncomfortable, I tend to forget that not all people are comfortable the way I am. It is ok though, so long as no one feels directly attacked. We will be just fine, people. If you feel insulted or otherwise slighted, email, text or call me. It will be my pleasure to talk to you and discuss anything you want. Hopefully, we will find common ground, or we won’t. Either way, we will have tried, and the effort counts almost as much as the result.
So, the reason I am writing this, it is because I have been asked by a few people why I am angry. Apparently, my daily posts on Instagram, which are meant as humorous, can be slightly interpreted as angry posts. I was quite surprised to see that people would think that and it made me smile. I am not angry in any way shape or form. I haven’t been this happy in a very long time so far be it from to feel any sort of anger.
Yet…I do admit that I have an anger in me, and an outrage printed in my bones. They didn’t come from my parents, as they are peaceful and calm people. Nahhh…the anger and outrage are all mine, they have nothing to do with the way I was raised or my DNA, that is all me. I walk around with pride knowing that my anger and outrage are alive and well. Mostly, they are tamed, they are under control and dormant. My anger and outrage have a fire that burns high and low at times, nevertheless, that fire never ceases to burn. I, personally, don’t want the fire to be extinguished. I don’t want my anger and outrage to go away. I need them, the way I need oxygen. I need to be outraged and angry because to me, anger rhymes with being alive.
Please understand, I am not talking the kind of anger that pushes me to break stuff, hurt people or being a plain asshole to anyone I meet. I am not alluding to that kind of dangerous and stupid anger. I am talking about the kind of anger that burns stronger every time I see an injustice, every time someone or myself is hurt, treated unfairly, humiliated, denied his/her rights, etc. I despise injustice, I have nothing but disdain for those who inflict pain on others for their own pleasure. I really cannot stand injustice and unfairness. I would love nothing more than to lock people who hurt kids in a cell and throw away the key, I want to bury those who torture others…You see what I am getting at?
These things and a thousand more outrage me. They make me want to put on a cape like superman and break some skulls. Since I am not from krypton and I don’t have a big S on my chest, I can only be outraged first and act later. Self awareness tells me that my actions can be quite limited (I am no cop, soldier, judge or superhero) but my anger and outrage need to stay alive. They keep me in check. They stop me from dying slowly inside and be a thing instead of being a person with feelings. Then again, I am someone who lives fully their emotions and I struggle sometimes with the same emotions, but I never dismiss them, nor do I deny their existence. Ignoring how one feels, I believe it to be the fastest way to get in trouble. Emotions need to be kept in check.
This concept of mine might sound crazy to others but I felt the need to explain that. I’d like to think that my anger is never, perhaps rarely misplaced. I like to think I always know who or what I am mad at. I do believe that those “negative” emotions can be useful once channeled in the right direction. You can turn them into a positive. Instead of having them consume you and push you to the brink of insanity, how about understanding them and their might so you can redirect them and use them in a constructive manner?
Sometimes, what I say or write will come off as angry or bitter, but I know it isn’t. Perhaps that is the reason of this text. It was to let others know how my brain works. In conclusion, I need my anger, I need my outrage. I don’t ever want to be passive, and I really cannot stand passive-aggressive people. If something is bothering you, say it, I can promise you, you will not die from it. If need be, explain yourself, explain your anger and outrage or even discomfort. I can guarantee you that most people will listen to you and a few will dismiss you. That passive-aggressive behaviour is one of the most annoying behaviours out there if you ask me. Talk, speak! You will be fine in the end unless someone is holding a gun to your head! If you see an injustice, try your best to not let it pass. You wouldn’t want others to be passive when you are in trouble right?
Just one man’s opinion…
Now smile and go on with your day.