STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

Ok, it is easy to tell anybody to stop thinking about something that must have been dear to them. I get it. It is easy for me to say that after processing whatever went wrong in my own life. Time goes by and it gives you perspective. It helps you understand things a bit better. Missed opportunities do hurt our hearts, mind, bodies and wallets at times.

Yet, if something didn’t happen, there is a reason why. Now, do you know the reason? I hope you do. Most of the time, you won’t though. Most of the time, you cannot figure out the reason. There is a mystery that lingers. Moreover, given enough time, that mystery will set foot in your mind and you will feel psychologically violated. That hurts but life is kind of unfair.

So, what you wanted, wished for or worked for didn’t happen. There is a reason, once again. Let’s assume no one knows why. I tend to think that if something didn’t happen, it is most likely because you weren’t ready. That is a personal choice. Others could believe that perhaps all the factors didn’t perfectly align for it to happen. Perhaps deep down you didn’t really want it to happen, a little self-sabotage isn’t uncommon with new choices. Perhaps, you would have gotten out of your comfort zone and you were afraid, it happens.

For the sake of this argument, let’s just assume you just weren’t ready. You missed an opportunity because you weren’t ready. The problem is, we are told you must be ready all the time. This ain’t the boy scouts. No one is always ready. That is plain impossible. By the way, it is OK to not be ready.

Truth be told, missing an opportunity can end up being a blessing or seen as a curse, depending on the person or how you see life ultimately. I am a firm believer that whatever is meant to happen, always does to quote Black Jack Foley from the TV series Billions. So, according to me, forcing things rarely works, if ever. Whatever is meant to happen, will organically and swimmingly happen. It could be a job, a relationship, a business opportunity, etc. We can regret missed opportunities and we might be right to do so but regrets usually don’t help much. They can end up poisoning your whole worldview and that can lead to bad, if not tragic outcomes.

The only thing one could do is look in the past to make sure they got lessons from that episode. Once the lessons are noted and understood, you just got to make sure that you are ready for the next opportunity. You got to look in the past to be ready for the future. Learn from the past to make the future better. Granted, please do not stay in the past, or keep looking behind you. Things will only be happening in front of you as the past is already done and over with.

Needless to say that it takes a lot of maturity to analyze and implement the necessary changes. You got time. You always have time to learn. Whatever didn’t happen, wasn’t meant to happen anyway. The past matters only as much as you make it matter. Look forward, move on, keep looking for opportunities and they will present themselves. The new opportunities might even be better than the past ones.

Whatever didn’t happen, well, do not worry too much about it. Life will present other opportunities. Do not beat yourself up, it will not help you. The only thing that could hurt you is to walk away from the episode without learning anything. There are always lessons in every situation.

Just one man’s opinion…

Now, smile, do not worry much about what didn’t happen and go on with your day.

Freeman. B

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