Life can get hard. Life can get hectic, mean and crazy. Life isn’t in the business of offering blessings and gifts regularly. I don’t have to tell you that. I am sure you already know it. Life might give you a break occasionally but mostly, you will find yourself running left and right to make it. Life isn’t easy.
If you wanna make it, then you will need a damn good supporting cast, a safety net, a group of people that will have your back. You will need to rely on those people because you must rely on people at some point. There is no other way to say this. You need people. Some people act as if they were an island. You don’t live in the middle of the damn ocean. You cannot and will never be 100% self-sufficient. Whether you admit it or not, you are dependent on people. You need people.
Full disclosure: I am one of those people who wants to do everything themselves. I wish I could do everything simply because I don’t like asking for help, I feel like I am bothering others. I wanna do things myself so I can feel a sense of pride. I used to hate asking for help. Now, after years of tripping and falling, I do ask for help. Nevertheless, I must point out that I will exhaust all available options that are at my disposal first. I will try everything. I will scrape and fight to make it on my own. Yet, life has humbled me enough to know when to go ask for help. I gotta thank life for opening my eyes (after messing up more times than I could care to count) and today, I am a grown self-aware man. I need help for certain things, that is it. Period. I am not ashamed of it. Hell no!
Needing people is about being realistic. You cannot fix everything, you cannot do everything, you will not do everything. That is just another fact of life. Needing people is about accepting and embracing your vulnerability. That is the tricky part. That is the part that hurts the ego. It aint easy admitting you need help, or money or someone to talk to or someone to pick you up, someone to confide in, etc. It isn’t easy. It will never be easy. Yet, I bet you it gets easier with time and according to the caliber of people in your life.
Enter the people in your life. You must keep in mind that those who are there for you are the people you chose. I have always advocated to cut certain people off. The kind of people that don’t make your life easier need to go. Life is too hard to hang on to bitter and annoying people. So, who you surround yourself with is as crucial as who you are. Your people will accept your vulnerability, they will accept to help you. Vulnerability works better in front of those who don’t judge you, those who are willing to help you without chastising you. I don’t like being that vulnerable I admit it. But, I also know that my people will not judge me, they will help me first and then, maybe, they might kick my ass, figuratively speaking.
I already said that you are not an island and that you will never be. So, the other thing that might help your life is to find somebody to talk to regularly, to confide in if you will. People don’t like sharing their personal stories or putting themselves out there and be judged. Yet, confiding in someone might allow you to gain perspective, see other angles that you hadn’t considered, let the stress out, ask for advice, etc. I don’t like putting my business out there either but sometimes, I feel like I am about to explode, and I go talk to someone. The negative thoughts and feelings must be let out. The negative things you might have done must be let out. If kept inside, they will fester and poison your whole soul and body. Choose your person carefully and talk to them, let them know what’s up. Find yourself someone who will not judge you, someone who will try to see your side of things, someone who will not be afraid to tell you that you messed up as well.
You will need people until you die. Choose your people carefully, choose them based on values that you share. Choose them because they add value to your life. Choose those who will not back down from their opinion, especially if it is opposite to yours. Choose those who will not be afraid of you. Choose those who don’t care what you have as possessions but rather care about what you have as human qualities. Choose those who can deal with your flaws and can offer constructive criticism. Choose those who make you feel secure. Last but not least, choose people whose company you enjoy.
You will always need people. Don’t act tough and stupid trying to prove you don’t need anybody. We all need somebody at some point. So, silence that prideful ego and accept your vulnerability. Accept you need people. It isn’t a bad thing. It is just human.
Just one man’s opinion…
Now, smile, accept you need people, and go on with your day.