There is no “if”.
There are no “ifs”.
There isn’t your reality, and then other people’s reality. There is just reality, one reality, the one we all share. There is no alternate ending, no alternate universe, except in quantum physics and even then, it is only a freaking theory, never been proven and most likely never will be.
“If” is and always will be a hypothetical. It isn’t real. It never was. “If” is frankly a bit of a waste of time, just a tiny bit. “If” keeps your mind busy for no good reason, “if” keeps your mind in the past. “If” can be a ruthless enemy, it can be a drug too, a hard one, highly addictive, with dire consequences.
“If” only brings questions, rarely any answers. “If only I had known…”, that is a classic line. I will give you that one. It is valuable. Perhaps it is the only if that has any weight and I hope any “if” you bring forward, has a very short life expectancy.
Let’s face it: you didn’t know and now things are a certain way. When or “if” the circumstances present themselves the same way, at least now, you know what to do. Nonetheless, don’t waste too much of your time on “if”. No one cares as much about your past as you do anyway. And what are you keeping an eye in the past for? Look ahead, don’t forget the past but don’t allow it to disrupt your present and future.
“If” is a pain in the ass. “If” can be tricky. “If” can bring regrets. In and of themselves, regrets aren’t bad, so long as they don’t become permanent or an obsession. Regrets can be useful, because they help you see what went wrong and hopefully you can correct whatever went wrong next time around. Having regrets long term? Not a good idea. You just got to let go. Things went in another direction, deal with it.
It is human nature to wonder how life could have turned out to be. We do that all the time, it has become annoying. However, what does it matter? Things turned out another way. Life very rarely goes according to plan anyway.
Don’t dwell on “ifs”. Use your time and energy to make things better for you. Learn from that past of yours. A day without learning something new and useful, is a day wasted. We are human, and “ifs” are a part of our lives and vocabulary. Please keep the “ifs” to a minimum. Move on. Carry on. Don’t get stuck in hypotheticals and alternate realities.
Tomorrow will bring another day, it will bring another opportunity for you to do better. Time shall also take the pain away, so long as you let go of what happened. You can’t change the past. With a little luck and work, you might be able to change your future, for the better of course.
For now and forever, it is just one man’s opinion.
Now, smile and go on with your day.