Society and people will insist, if not force you, to look at your growth in comparison to other’s. It does sound unfair. It even seems unfair. You know what? It is unfair. Your growth as a human being is your own. You most certainly have your own goals and principles which might not be like others, there is a very high probability for that. The life that we live, in this extremely connected and overexposed social world, dictates that one should go to school, find a job, have a career, get married, have kids, an education fund for the kids, buy a house, get a retirement fund, retire and then, die, for death is the final destination.

What if one didn’t see the world like that? What if what you want had nothing to do with what most people want? What if you want to travel the world for a living, just a hypothetical? What if you never want to get married? What if you don’t want to have kids for reasons that only you understand? What if you prefer renting to buying? What if you like public transportation to having your own car (Uber has changed the car business quite a lot) and so many more what ifs?

Comparing yourself to others most of the time can create problems. We don’t all want the same thing. 50 years ago, there were about 20 jobs everyone could do. Today, people having blogs and YouTube channels, Facebook and Instagram accounts can make more money and have more freedom than doctors, engineers and accountants combined. So, choosing a different career path from the majority can bring its own set of criticism. It can be brutal, painful and it could be demoralizing. Let’s not even speak about the financial insecurity. Not everyone is wired or comfortable doing 9 to 5. There is nothing wrong with a career that requires 40 hours per week. If that is your choice, then may the Gods bless you and keep on going through that chosen path.

Yet, you who chose a different path, don’t compare yourself to others. You don’t want the same thing, you don’t probably have the same goal, you are not wired for the same outcome, perhaps you don’t even have the same set of skills. I know a few people like that. They don’t compare themselves to others. They do their own thing, they have accepted that it might be harder, but they do it nevertheless. They accept all the hardships that come along, they sweat, bleed and cry but they do it their own way, without regard to other people’s criticism and opinions.

Your growth is yours and only yours to control and appreciate. I can’t stress this enough. I believe we should all spend a little more time on our own growth instead of comparing it to others. I know it is almost impossible to do so and I get it. I do it myself sometime. By thinking about others and where they are at, you think less about yourself and it takes away your power of moving forward. It can stunt your growth. It is a reality that we all must face.

Please understand. I am not advocating there isn’t something out there that you could be inspired by maybe or improve on. There are things that people do, and they look cool and we want to do them. Self-help books are there for that, investment seminars, cooking lessons, all kinds tutorials on YouTube and so many more things are there for that. If you see something that you like, and you want to apply it for your own betterment, please do. But personalize it, make it your own, don’t just copy it. Whatever might work for others, might not work for you. It might look extraordinarily cool but, in the end, perhaps it isn’t for you.

Set up your plan. Visualize your future, not someone else’s. They are not thinking of you, why should you waste time thinking of them? I am not advocating to be extremely selfish or to be oblivious to what is going on around you. I am merely saying you should focus on yourself, on your growth.

Please, don’t compare your life to others, don’t compare your marriage or relationship to others, don’t compare your bank accounts to others, don’t compare their Facebook and Instagram posts to yours, don’t compare things people allow you to see. For every image you see, there might be 10 that were deleted or not posted. For every smile you might see, there might be a few tears that you didn’t see. Your growth can suffer or stop if you don’t focus on it.

Your growth is your own. Your success is your own. Your happiness is your own. Your improvement is your own. Your love life is your own. Your way of thinking is your own. You are your own person. Your DNA is unique, there is only one you. So, grow as much as you can. Grow wiser, stronger, calmer, better. Grow the way you want to grow. Live by your dreams, not someone else’s or how society has told you to live. Nothing wrong with society but remember that your growth has to match you individualism. Yet, be careful as not to be extremely self-centered. That is a sure way of becoming arrogant and selfish, which is another way to slow your growth because no one will help you. Remember that your growth will be assisted by others, people will help you along the way, and you got to work with people.

Look at your growth. Work on it and happiness will follow.

Just one man’s opinion.

Now, smile, grow as you see fit, and go on with your day.

Freeman. B

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