The epitome of unpredictability. The embodiment of our animalistic side running wild and uncontrolled. Conflict brings the beast out. Usually, it isn’t pretty. Well, most of the time, it really isn’t pretty. Hurtful words are exchanged, aggressive behavior is exhibited, true and unfiltered feelings are displayed, relationships are altered forever, and violence ensues at times. Conflict isn’t a piece of cake. Conflict isn’t conclusive to improvement or better understanding of others.

There is one positive thing about conflict however. One underestimated jewel that is out there for everyone to grab: conflict reveals the true nature of a person. I believe it does. Conflict brings anger, rage, irritation, exasperation and many more feelings that uncover anything a person would have been hiding. Personally, I know it is nearly impossible to pretend and act when I am angry. I doubt I am different from everyone else on that front. So, as a guy who see the glass half full and is eternally optimistic, I am somewhat, thankful for conflicts but not all the time, I might add.

Nevertheless, as much as conflict might reveal one’s true purpose and identity, I still do not like it. I can dare say that I am afraid of conflict, even if that might make me look like a coward that hides behind a cupboard instead of facing the fire directed at me. I do not like conflict because it is unpredictable and the anger that derives from it, can hurt people and people’s feelings. If you are lucky, you can see the conflict coming and you can adequately prepare to face it. However, let us be honest, that scenario is as rare as a Chihuahua hurting a German shepherd. As life would have it, most of the time, you will not see the conflict coming. It blindsides you and hits you unexpectedly. The element of surprise is enough to discombobulate you.

The real and only reason I don’t like conflicts? Well, it is because YOU CAN NEVER KNOW HOW IT WILL END. Perhaps you can anticipate, draw different outcomes in your brain, think of how a person would act or react, but in the end, whether you care to admit it or not, you can never, I repeat NEVER, guarantee how a conflict will end. When a conflict arises, too many variables are into play and the variable that is the most unpredictable will always be human nature. The soul and the mind are too volatile. They make the outcome nearly impossible to predict.

I do not like conflict. I know too well it could make me look like a coward but I will stand my ground. The other thing that I know all too well is that conflict is inevitable at times and one must go through it. You have to fight for what is yours, you have to fight to for respect, for your voice to be heard, you have to fend off predators and bullies, you have to fight to get your point across, and you have to fight to protect yourself and others. Those conflicts are inevitable. Those conflicts are necessary. Any fight for your improvement, for justice, for peace, for protecting yourself and others, any such fight is worthy and you should never back down from them.

As you grow older, and hopefully wiser, you understand people better as you understand yourself better. Then you slowly realize not all conflicts are worth wasting your energy and time on. Frankly, most daily conflicts are just minor cases of nuisance that would disappear in an instant if you effectively paid them no mind. That comes with time, experience and knowing yourself. It isn’t easy to not engage when a conflict arises but it is necessary to let some storms pass. They just suck out your energy, make you bitter and put you on the defensive all the damn time. What is an unnecessary conflict? I will leave that to you. We have different sensibilities anyway.

Please avoid unnecessary conflicts. Please avoid raising your blood pressure for minor offenses. Please avoid getting into fights that would just drain your energy without any palpable upside. Please avoid stressing yourself and others. It is for your own good. Not all conflicts need to happen, not all conflicts need all your energy and time. Find your niche and choose your conflicts wisely to be happy in the long term.

Just one man’s opinion.

Now, smile, choose the worthy conflicts and go on with your day.

Freeman. B

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