We see that quite often; when politicians change their mind on a specific issue, they are called all kinds of names. Funny how that happens. Perhaps, it has to do with the amount of lying and deception every politician must deal with during their tenure. Politics might not be the best example as we are all profoundly cynical about politics. If they lied a bit less…Just a bit. There is a social stigma that comes with changing your mind. It might even come from the place you expected it the least.
I am not a politician. I could never be. I am missing a few essential qualities to be a politician. Well, in the spirit of transparency, I was told multiple times by even more people that I couldn’t because the way I dress (t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, suit only on special occasions), the way I talk (I fucking curse quite a lot and I fucking like it) and my ideas (unconventional or rather liberal to say the least) I couldn’t be in politics. If only you knew how devastated I was every time I heard someone tell me those words. Well, since I am being transparent, I cared so little that I almost passed out each time! Moreover, being a politician is the last thing I want to be. The job would take away my freedom of speech and freedom of being. Since I don’t like confined spaces, I will stick to writing.
You do have the right to change your mind. As I get older, I change my mind regularly about different subjects. Allow me to throw a few subjects out: abortion, homosexuality, finance, humor, justice, fairness, success, relationships, wealth, friendships, forgiveness, apologizing, loyalty, honesty, writing, love, hate, racism and race relations, identity, sexuality, parenting, wellness, pain, sorrow, health, happiness, marriage, strength, weakness, family, vegetarianism, friendship, patriotism, psychology, human behavior, social movements, religion, and probably a thousand other subjects instead of dozens.
Some of the changes happened overnight, and others took time, weeks, if not years. It isn’t easy changing your mind. There is always a resistance within our brains and souls. We don’t want to give in. We think we might appear weak if we change our minds. We are afraid of other people’s judgment. Sometimes, we are not even sure about changing our minds. Are we doing it because society’s mind is shifting as well? Are we part of the flock? Did we think about it thoroughly? Is it external pressure? Or is it right? Does it feel right? All those questions come along to torture our souls a bit. Perhaps, those questions are there to make sure we are changing our minds or not for the right reasons.
I am not afraid to say I used to think homosexuality was an abomination. It was a mix of religious beliefs since Christianity doesn’t look kindly upon our gay brothers and sisters and a lack of awareness. It is only a sexual orientation, not an abomination and it doesn’t define anyone entirely. No one is being hurt and especially not me, so may my gay people be free and happy…. I used to have a male perspective on abortion, and I talked to some of my girl friends who have had abortions. I realized that the subject is more nuanced. They told me about how hard it is to make that choice and today I am always ready to listen to their story first and be there for them if they decide to go through with it. I used to think there were subjects one could never joke about. I don’t anymore. You can joke about anything; it always depends on how the joke is constructed. I used to have a hard time forgiving people. As time went by, I understood human nature better and today forgiveness isn’t as hard to give. Racism isn’t dead. It isn’t because no one has called me nigger that people don’t look down on me because I am beige. Health isn’t being skinny or fat. It is about what you put into your body and the kind of lifestyle you have.
Admittedly, there some subjects on which I will never change my mind: paedophilia, rape, genocide, injustice, greed, science even if it doesn’t explain everything, slavery, how good fries are, how divine steak is, my love for my parents, family and friends, how effort always brings results, people’s right to live a free life, how martial arts are cool, my love for telling stories, comic books, the existence of any kind of deity, how awesome showers are, how love is essential in my life, how lucky I am, etc.
I believe it is impossible not to change one’s mind as time goes by. We grow and evolve. We experience things and they shape the very fabric of our personality. No one is the person they were 6 months, let alone 2 years ago. We change and consequently, we change our minds. The world changes, why not us?
People will call you a flip-flopper or a hypocrite because you dared change your mind. Do not succumb to that pressure. Change comes from within. If it feels right, change your mind. If it doesn’t feel right, then stay the course. When needed, accept that change is inevitable and change your whole attitude and way of thinking. Once again, change isn’t easy nor is it pleasant sometimes. Yet, at some point in life, change is inevitable. Please be sure of the reason you changed your mind and if need be, which rarely happens, defend your point. There isn’t anything wrong with evolving, changing your mind and becoming better. Change isn’t always bad. You have the right to change your mind.
Just one man’s opinion.
Now smile and go on with your day.