“Why did you do it? Why did you say it?”, asked my brother, a bit incredulous.
“Because I needed them to know that I know who they really are.”
“It was unnecessary. You just created a conflict that isn’t worth it, and we both know they will not change, and we don’t even know what drove them to be like that.”
“I know”, I said, “What can they possibly do to me? Nothing. So, let them take a taste of her own medicine for all those years of lies and manipulation.”
“You know it probably won’t change who they are or their behaviour. So, you just wasted your time. If you know or think that whatever you are about to say or do won’t change anything, then don’t do it. That is just a waste time.”
“On the contrary, if I know it will not change anything, THEN I DO IT.”
So, my brother and I were arguing about a course of action involving a person who will be renamed Apple in this story to protect their identity.
Apple isn’t a very nice person, and I am sure my brother will agree. However, we will never agree on the degree of their “unkindness”. I find it too bad he cannot be on this text to give his point of view, which happens to be quite valid in all fairness. I do need to point out that I have the utmost respect for my brother’s read on people. He is an amazing judge of character and I seek his counsel often. He has a sixth sense that most of us would envy. Every time he gave me his opinion on someone, he turned out to be right on the money. However, that doesn’t mean he is always right. He is utterly wrong in this case.
I have known Apple for 3 decades now and so does my brother. Our opinions diverge as to who they really are. Who is Apple really? No one knows anyway and for confidentiality reasons, Apple’s gender, race, name or any other personal information shall not be revealed in this story.
My brother thinks Apple is somewhat of a lost soul, a misunderstood individual who perhaps tries to get their point across in order to be fully loved, accepted and understood. He might be right.
I, on the other hand, believe Apple to have few sociopathic traits that put them on the sociopath spectrum. I am not saying they are a full-blown sociopath since I am not a clinical psychiatrist. However, I have seen Apple, on numerous occasions, manipulate, play a role to get liked by everyone, fake emotions and especially, I have witnessed their pathological lies personally. Apple plays with people’s emotions, something I despise to my very core.
Perhaps, nature made them this way. I empathize with their pain, I sincerely do. Yet, I will not let them continue their journey of manipulation, lies and deceit. I know it sounds like vigilantism, but I don’t care one bit. So, one day, in good old fashion Freeman style (a bit sociopathic as well), I sent them a scathing message where I told them that I could see through their games. My message was harsh, but I chose to write it that way. I wanted to use the “shock and awe” approach which usually discombobulates people. Frankly, I didn’t want any ambiguity, I wanted clarity. Apple hasn’t spoken to me since and I don’t expect them to talk to me ever again. We weren’t that close to begin with, so that isn’t a loss in my life.
My brother wasn’t happy with me and the way I handled myself. He told me so and the weird thing is that I understood his point of view. I knew my message to Apple was shocking, mean, nasty, plain disrespectful. My brother eloquently told me what I did was pointless. He said it would amount to nothing. He said that it wouldn’t change Apple and that I created a mess when silence would have been the best remedy. Basically, I created a problem with my message, and I created an unnecessary enemy.
He is right. Yet, he isn’t. If it solves nothing, don’t do it, he said.
I respectfully disagree. If it changes or solves nothing, why not do it? If it changes nothing, then I say do it. Speak your mind, let people know how you feel. Tell them whatever is on your mind. Nothing will change, right? Then, you might as well speak now and never hold your peace. If it changes nothing, I will always choose to speak. It isn’t wasted energy. It isn’t wasted time. It is a reset of the status quo. The relationship has changed, and the other person is aware now. Personally, I will always choose to tell people how I feel. I also believe this mentality of mine stems from the need to tell certain people TO NOT FUCK WITH ME OR MY PEOPLE. Yes, certain people are better off away from me and my people.
My brother insisted that my cavalier attitude might be interpreted as the group’s attitude. I did mention in my message to Apple that I was speaking on my behalf and my behalf only. I wasn’t representing anyone but myself. My brother told me that I created an enemy gratuitously. I disagree to some degree. First, this isn’t war. Apple isn’t an enemy and even if they were, there is nothing that they can do to me. This isn’t a war movie, it’s real life. Secondly, if karma gets me because of my offense against Apple, then karma will get me. What will be, will be. I couldn’t care less.
Apple will stay away from me, which gives me a distance to watch them if I actually cared enough. Apple will think twice before messing up with me, which gives me peace. Apple might feel they are a bit under siege, or that their ways have been discovered, which means they will back off or they will learn to manipulate people better. Who knows what Apple will do? I sure don’t. But Apple cannot afford to act in a way that would prove me right because, then I would be right about them.
I do know that between silence and action, when the situation’s outcome won’t probably change, I will certainly choose action, in most cases. I am not stupid. If I am dealing with dangerous people, I will be cautious and most likely will stay away. Apple isn’t dangerous at all. I am not dangerous either. I just fucked with their mind, that is all.
I don’t have all the answers and I could be wrong. My brother certainly thinks so. I know that to the untrained eye, him and I really look alike but, on certain subjects and strategy, we are profoundly different. Apple knows this. I want Apple to stay away from me and my people. I am sure they will. The one thing that gives me solace is that Apple will not, ever, come to me for anything. That is a relief.
Action is better than silence in most cases if the outcome doesn’t change.
Just one man’s opinion.
Now smile and go on with your day.