Question: When you look in the mirror every morning, what do you see? It is an easy question.  What do you see? Someone you like or someone you don’t like? Someone who matters or someone who doesn’t? I could keep asking similar questions until the end of times, but I am just going to stop and tell you a secret or a self-evident truth: You better like the person you see in the mirror. Goddamn, you better!

That person has the ultimate importance in your life. So, you better love that person with all your heart, soul, mind, will, and body. You better take care of that person; you better admire and push that person to new heights. You better protect that person as well! You know that person isn’t going anywhere so, might as well get along with them. If you don’t know how to deal with that person, find a fucking way. No one will or should love that person more than you.

Moreover, don’t feel sorry for that person! Don’t humiliate that same person. Don’t belittle, berate or insult that person. Do not harm or injure psychologically and/or physically that person. It won’t help you in any way. Burying that person won’t save you nor will it make you feel better.

Without that person in the mirror, who are you anyway?

I ask again…Without that person, who the fuck are you? I’ll answer that: NOBODY! Now, as to the “who you really are” question, I am glad to say only you have the answer to that question. No one can tell you who you are. Well, people could spend all their time telling you a whole bunch of things about yourself. Nevertheless, let’s face it, let’s be honest, let’s be real, in the end, only you know who you are, how you feel, what you should feel, what you want, hate, need, etc.

You know who you are, better than everybody. Identity is a big box that has a lot of compartments, meaning you are not one thing as many would have you believe, you don’t fit in one category. You might be tempted to think you are one thing more than the other and you could be right. Yet, remember, rarely will life be black or white. Life is made of many fifty shades of gray (not talking about the damn book, which is really porn for girls!) and so are you. We all are made of many things, some bad, some good. Make sure the good things always take over the bad things. Do your best to improve your qualities and learn to work on your flaws until they become just a tiny nuisance in the back of your mind and your everyday life.

Loving yourself isn’t a cliché nor is it a stereotype. Loving yourself is a real, palpable thing. It is defined through actions, how you carry yourself, how you take care of yourself, how you define yourself and how you see yourself, through your own lenses. For the love of all the Gods, I am not talking about self centeredness, self aggrandizement, self admiration, self praise or self importance. It is simply about self love, self respect.

It is about you and the love you have for yourself. It isn’t about the kind of self love that elevates you above others. Self love shouldn’t make others look smaller or feel less important. Do not be that fucking guy or fucking girl who feels tall by standing on other people’s shoulder. Self love has nothing to do with others and everything to do with you. So, it would be wise to spend some time taking care of yourself and less time criticizing others. You better spend time getting along with that person looking back at you in the mirror.

As life has it, things will always happen, unexpected things that will knock you down and put a knee on your throat in a desperate attempt to choke you. It is hardly avoidable because such is life. However, if you love yourself just enough, you’ll want to do better. You are going to want to be happy and therefore, you will not stay down. Self love will get you to do better and be better. People who love themselves enough, don’t like being in pain, so they find a way to be happy. They find a way to do better. They find a way to not stay down or be in pain permanently.

As I said before, you are stuck with that person so you might as well get to love them and to help them get better, otherwise, it will be a long and painful life. So, go ahead and do yourself the biggest favour: love that person you see in the mirror.

Ok, now, do me a favour. You have a mirror nearby or a phone? Ok, now, look in the mirror. See that beautiful face? Smile at it and send it a kiss.

Just one man’s opinion.

Now smile one more goddamn time and go on with your day.

Freeman. B

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