I wish you fail in your life and I wish you fail a couple of times, maybe not often, but a few times. I am dead serious. I really and truly wish that you taste defeat, and that it leaves a small hole in your heart. I am not a sadist nor am I a masochist. I don’t enjoy being in pain nor do I enjoy seeing other people in pain, but I frankly wish you to fail in your life.

We were always taught NOT TO FAIL; we are taught to succeed. However, no one ever teaches you what to do if you fail. Well, if I think of it objectively, no one teaches us how to handle failure, there is no manual for that. Isn’t that weird? Whoever learned how to handle failure in school? No one. You are supposed to deal with that on your own. It is rather interesting, to say the least.

Whether it is in class, at work, or anywhere else, from a young age, you are told to do something and if can’t achieve it, then, best case scenario, you failed and, worst case scenario, you are failure. There is a big difference between failing and being a failure. The former implies you failed at something and the latter means you just fail at almost everything, that you have a pattern of failing, that your whole life is a big mess. I wish you failures, but I wish you never become a failure. Moreover, with failure, it is never a question of “if”, it is always a matter of “when”. We all fail at one point, at something, anything.

I have failed…I could write pages on how many times I have failed, personally, financially, academically, professionally, in relationships, and so on. I guess I am lucky enough to see the good in the bad. To be completely candid and truthful, I am not lucky, I did train myself to learn from every bad situation. Then again, so far, I am blessed, I haven’t had many awful things happen to me. Everything life has thrown my way, I was able to overcome, and I learned the hard way, at least 90% of the time, meaning it wasn’t pretty. I will spare you the anger, the teeth grinding, the sweat, the tears at times, the clenching of the fists, the cussing, etc.

I am tired of people who won’t shut up about their victories but never mention how many times they failed in their way to victory. I am tired of seeing self important, overzealous, pompous and arrogant fools who paint themselves as bulletproof, when we know they are not. In the era of social media, where anybody can engineer a story about themselves and their accomplishments, an era where all seems beautiful, it has never been easier to fool people. Well, I don’t like seeing what is going well and never see what isn’t. I like to see the full picture, as hard as it is. How are we supposed to get better if we don’t see our weaknesses?

I find failure to be as important, if not more important than victory. Failure teaches you resilience and patience. If you are smart enough, once the pain and shame are gone, you will sit down, take the emotions out and study the reasons of your failures or defeats. Failure is a way to teach you how to do things differently, to adopt a new approach to a situation. Failure is there to help you adapt, to persevere.

Failure is a reminder you don’t know everything. Failure is a slap in the face, it is a much-needed wake-up call and dare I say, failure is necessary. Failure is also a reminder you need to be humble and you must be open to the idea, that perhaps, maybe, there are many things for you to learn. I see failure as a blessing in disguise. Contrary to popular belief, failure is more common than you think. Most successful people have failed a thousand times at least, before succeeding that one time that made them rich or famous or both. I admire those who admit it and tell others about it. The Supermans and Superwomans of this era, who don’t seem to possess any flaws, well, they can get fucking lost.

Failure is also a way to tell you that what you are attempting isn’t your cup of tea and perhaps you should move on to other things. There is no shame in that. We can all be a bit lost for a while, so long as we find our own path.

Failure is the rung on the ladder that you step on, towards victory. Failure is an obstacle you must overcome to reach your destination; failure isn’t anything but a rite of passage towards success. By the way, failure isn’t there to be celebrated, ok? Failure is there to be experienced, and that sour taste it leaves in one’s mouth, will be replaced by the sweet nectar that flows from the fruit of victory.

Failure isn’t the end. It is the beginning of something great, of a voyage that is unique. Failure might make you mad but once you have succeeded, I am sure you will smile. Do yourself a favour, smile while you walk the path to success, it will make the trip easier.

Just one man’s opinion.

Now, smile once again and go on with your day.

Freeman. B

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