Anybody watch the tv show “SUITS”? Well, if you haven’t, please give it a try, it is available on Netflix for those who have it. The show is about two lawyers working at a New York law firm. Of course, like any show, the story rests more on the relationship between the protagonists than practicing law. Harvey Specter is the hotshot lawyer, extremely good looking, always fantastically dressed in Tom Ford suits. Harvey is smart, sexy, charming, with a shark attitude and a killer smile.
Mike Ross at the beginning of the show, is hired as his associate, despite never going to law school, which is a felony. Mike is above than average smart, has a photographic memory, and he is far more different than Harvey. Mike is kinder, more loving, more open than Harvey, he always means well, and he is quite naïve. He isn’t a shark like his boss and that is ground for conflict between the two.
Yet, as the show evolves, and here lies the true genius of it, we see Harvey and Mike evolve, as individuals and we also see their dynamic change tremendously. From boss to subordinate, they become friends and finally, they become brothers. Harvey becomes more open, more caring, more honest like Mike. Moreover, Mike becomes more like Harvey; a bit more calculating, he learns to read people and situations better and, he also becomes more of a shark. They influence each other through time and the show is better for it.
Aside from all the glamour of practicing law in a top tier firm in NYC, the Harvey and Mike dynamic is one of the greatest representations of how relationships evolve. The characters development is profoundly well written and even better acted by the pair of artists. Their loyalty towards each other is constantly tested, their resolve as well. They go through a lot as lawyers but mostly as men. They fight frequently, Mike almost always being the moral compass of the duo and Harvey being the master of understanding people and their motivations, almost always being ahead of everybody.
At one point, while they are going through a rough patch, to the point where the relationship is stretched to the maximum, Harvey says this to Mike while chastising him: “I don’t care. Anyone comes at you with any threat at all, you come to me. I don’t give a shit if it’s the Queen of England. You come to me. You tell me. You tell me everything. That’s what goddamn loyalty is”. God, I love Harvey!
It is interesting to see how they both fight against their own selves as the show evolves. They are human and remind me of myself and others. We fight our own selves when situations, time and people change. We are fans of the status quo. Truth be told, it is simple physics; an object will fight to keep its initial state. If an object is moving, you need force to stop it. If an object isn’t moving, you also need force to make it move. That applies to people! Change comes at a cost.
We are rarely comfortable with change. We reluctantly accept to change, even when change is forced upon us. That is true to every part of our lives, especially relationships. I remember trying to avoid conflict or friction in all my relationships whether it was friendship, romantic relationships, family, work, etc. Yet, change is inevitable and to a certain extent, conflict is just as inevitable. I would brag about not being in a conflict with anyone, and I must admit, not having conflicts feels good. By the way, conflict doesn’t necessarily mean fights, insults, mockery, etc. It could be a disagreement, not seeing eye to eye with another person, a difference of opinion, etc.
Look at yourself; your relationships have changed because people have changed and mostly because you have changed. We change, evolve, our needs and wants change just as much. We must find a way of resolving conflicts. We must find a way of accepting that relationships change. A little conflict occasionally doesn’t hurt. On the contrary, it allows us to adapt, change and evolve. Look at your life. Some of your relationships have evolved and changed, others have ceased to exist. We all have relationships that ended, whether amicably or not. I have people I don’t talk to anymore. I have former friends who have become acquaintances or who are out of my life.
Relationships change. That is the bottom line. It’s ok. That is the way people function. That is the way life is. Hell, people die, and we keep moving forward. Harvey and Mike are just like us or perhaps we are like them. There is nothing wrong with change and evolution, per se. It always depends on the context and how change is managed. However, we must make sure we make those changes on our own terms, when possible. Do not be terrified of change. It is inevitable. Go with the flow, adapt, be flexible, stand up for your values and I know for a fact, people will respect you for standing your ground.
Being flexible in life is always better than being rigid. Harvey and Mike saved their relationship by being flexible and accepting the other person’s right to change and evolve. It always came after some conflicting and it came at a price, sometimes a heavy one. But they survived. Keep in mind that change and evolution are never easy. Accept other people’s right to change and your relationship will get better and finally be better!
Just one man’s opinion.
Now smile and go on with your day!