THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

There is always a moment of truth within ourselves. Well, sometimes, as surprising as it may sound, we might even have several moments of truth. You never know when it will come. It might fall on you from the sky, it might hit you in the shower, at a funeral, after being fired, after getting married, after becoming a parent, after a crippling disease, after making a million dollars, etc. The moment of truth never calls ahead. It never leaves a message and it might never come back or it might just persist and keep ringing in your head. Basically, the moment of truth is capricious, and it has no calendar.

The moment of truth is simply when you must decide who you will be and/or what you will do. That is no easy feat. Oh, it is not! From the moment we are born, expectations are put on us. We must study this, behave, talk, walk, dress this way. We must eat, this. We must listen to this and read that, etc. Yes, we are prisoners of our world. That is normal. The rules set up before we were even born are there to protect us and guide us, like the northern star in the nautical world. As fate would have it, sometimes, those rules can easily or should I say accidentally, smother us.

We always tell ourselves we are prisoners of our upbringing, our education, our circumstances, our environment, our way of being and thinking, our DNA and I believe we are, to stronger and lesser degrees. There is no denying that! Nevertheless, I believe we use those factors to our own end, to make ourselves feel better when we continue through the roadmap set by previous generations. It frees us from the responsibility of changing and evolving. We hold on to those things that have made us who we are today so we could keep the status quo alive and well. Then again, who likes change?

We all know people who came from broken homes who ended up becoming decent people. We all know people who came from decent homes who are criminals and/or shady people. We know people who have overcome extreme conditions to become titans in their chosen fields. We know people who were fed and given everything but cannot function within the bounds of society. We have seen people fail time and time again and then, one day, out of the blue, they succeed. They made their choice because that is what the moment of truth is: a conscious choice.

There will come a time, if it hasn’t already, where we will have to make a choice: we must find and accept who we really are. As I said before, it will rarely be revelation. It will not be a moment where everything will stop, like in the movies, and you will have all the time in the world to decide who you are going to be. No…It doesn’t work like that. Movies are poetic, they are supposed to inspire us, and they over romanticize the moment of truth.

In reality, the moment of truth will come to you through a cascade of events. It took me years to understand and accept that I was a writer. The moment of truth came with doubt, fear, anxiety, stress and so much more. No one has any idea how long it took me to finally say the words “I am a writer”. I still feel like I am not quite there because I have so much to learn still. I haven’t published any books or best sellers, and I don’t have a Netflix deal to write a movie or a tv series. However, I came face to face with my moment of truth; I put aside everything I knew to admit to myself I am a writer, now and forever. Perhaps I have always been a writer or rather, a storyteller. However, I was predestined to be a storyteller, I don’t believe in destiny. I made a choice after meeting with my moment of truth or dare I say, my moments of truth.

At some point, everything you know and have gone through won’t matter as much. Everything you were taught, seen and learned won’t matter. Ok, you had a hard life, you lost a parent when you were young, you were abused, you grew up in poverty, and so many more fucked up things that I can name. All that is laid out on a table. Now, what? Seriously, now what? You could let psychiatry, psychology and sociology define you or…you could define yourself. That is the moment of truth. That is the choice. You don’t have to do anything like your parents, brothers and sisters or countrymen did. Your world isn’t theirs and remember, their choices aren’t your own. There is no obligation to follow a specific line. You can and actually, must define yourself. You must choose. That is the moment of truth, the choice.

It does sound heartless, I know. No one can fully and/or really escape their past, especially if the latter was severely or mildly fucked up. Yet, you could define your life as you see fit. Some people go through therapy and they find themselves able to make that choice. Others find solace in religion, sports, yoga, etc. They improve and they can seize the moment of truth and go from there. No one is saying the choice will be easy or pretty. Fuck no! At times, the choice might even seem impossible, such as stopping talking to your family because they are not decent people, or divorcing a toxic spouse, or quitting an ungrateful professional situation, or leaving a stressful environment. None of those choices are easy. They will never be, and perhaps, they are not meant to be either.

Let’s not beat around the bush: you always have a choice. It might not be the ideal choice. It will not certainly be an easy choice, yet it is a choice, and YOUR choice. Moreover, any choice you make, please, be ready to stand by it. The last part is called being an adult. You make a choice and you stand by it. Perhaps, you will be wrong. Perhaps you will be right. Either way, you made the choice.

One last thing…whatever choice you make, it will result in a good or bad outcome. Whatever choice you make, you will decide, and through it, you will be a good person, or not. Such is life sometimes; fair and unfair.

Well, the moment of truth, isn’t as fun as it sounds sometimes, right?

Just one man’s opinion.

Now smile and go on with your day!

Freeman. B

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