OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS…

This is a tricky subject. Well, most subjects are complex and complicated. Yet, other people’s opinion as a subject, well that might be the trickiest.  

If one were to look through social media, you’d see how the sentences “I don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions”, “I don’t care what people think” and other variations of the same sentence, are abundant. It seems a bunch of people desperately want to show they don’t care what other people think of them. I don’t know about you guys but when someone is trying extremely hard to prove something, I always get suspicious about their true intentions. It’s like people who try to prove they are confident, and they are extremely loud and are always showing off. Have you ever seen a person who is truly confident? They rarely try to prove anything to anybody. So, whenever someone is trying really hard, my sixth sense starts working overtime. What can I say? I am a skeptic.

The people who really, truly, and sincerely don’t care about other people’s opinions, will never even talk about other people, let alone other people’s opinions. You know why? Because they actually don’t care. It sounds simple and I guarantee you, I have met a few people like that. They literally look a bit crazy because one could easily misinterpret their detachment from people’s opinions as anti-social behavior. The latter is a symptom of sociopathy, so, I am always careful when I meet these people who seem to come from a parallel universe.

Allow me to give you an example, out of the goodness of my heart: I don’t care one way or another about cricket. I couldn’t even care about the sport even if somebody threatened my whole family. Zero interest in cricket, from the moment of my conception until today! Therefore, I will never, ever talk about cricket. I wouldn’t flinch if I ever heard the word “cricket”, and I won’t listen to any conversation about cricket. The sport that is so dear to more than a billion people and most countries within the commonwealth could literally disappear, and my life wouldn’t change at all. The same goes for the individuals who truly don’t care about other people’s opinions; they don’t care, and they don’t talk about it.  

Some people want to emphatically show they don’t care about other people’s opinions. Perhaps they used to be persecuted, mocked, bullied and their newfound might and freedom compel them to show the world they are standing on their own and nobody will ever tear them down or tell them what to do. Nobody will ever put them in bondage again. It is a defense mechanism born out of difficult situations. I get it.

I thought about this subject for a long time. I personally do not care about some people’s opinions but the fact I just wrote it, well, it might negate my statement. I told you this subject is the trickiest of them all goddamn it! I did say “some” people’s opinions! I care what my parents, brothers, family, and friends think of me. Yet, I care to a certain extent. This text is all over the place, goddamn it!

Once upon a time, a young girl sent me a message on Instagram, asking me how I deal with people who don’t like me or who don’t like my craft. I told her frankly I didn’t care when people I don’t know don’t like me. She told me my statement was arrogant, pushing me to do some introspection. Sure, I am arrogant occasionally but not caring about other people’s opinions had a deeper meaning in my heart. Saying the sentence “I don’t care about other people’s opinions” is one thing; its meaning is a whole other subject altogether.

Personally, I believe to my core that not caring about other people’s opinions has nothing to do with disrespect, dismissal, disdain, anger, contempt or hate towards those people. Nah. My worldview isn’t based on negative emotions most of the time. I am not saying I don’t have negative emotions because I fucking do. I simply do my best to not base my decisions on negative emotions. It ain’t easy but I do my best.

My “not caring about other people’s opinions” motto is, as crazy as it sounds, based on inner peace. I am not seeking wars or conflicts with the world. I don’t have time for that, nor do I want to find time for negative emotions that bring their own set of issues. Once you poison the well with negativity, it takes way too much work for the water to become drinkable again.

Frankly, I see not caring as a positive feeling. My goals in life are built, to the best of my abilities, on healthy, productive, and positive energy. I am not here to dismiss people or make them feel inferior. I will listen to them, but I will decide in the end, what to do with the information they gave me. And sure, there is always that annoying dude or chick looking for conflict, clout, war or to get a rise out of me. Those people I gladly dismiss. Sometimes I do it in a specific way that discourages them to come back. I know! I just went negative again and I contradicted myself. Damn, this text is hard to write.

Not caring about other people’s opinions is an action I do for my inner peace. I don’t have time to worry about what others think of me. I have texts and stories to write. I have work to do. I have kilometers to walk. I have friends and family to see. I have movies and tv series to watch. I have music to listen to. I have books to read. I have YouTube videos about comedy to watch. I got a life to live, a craft to perfect, and a mind and a body to take care of!

Responding to other people’s opinions with a negative mindset, makes those opinions even stronger. They start to matter more and more. Try not responding or to keep working for your inner peace and your improvement. Try that. I have been trying that technique for a while, and my life has never been better.

Occasionally, you will make mistakes and you will have to correct your course. That’s why other people’s opinions matter somehow, especially coming from people who love you and want to see you happy and who want to see you succeed. As I told you, I listen to others and then I make a decision that suits me, not them. Once you are comfortable with your path and your work and you are walking through life in a positive way, especially for yourself, things become easier. Ultimately, other people’s opinions won’t matter. And you will be happier…

Just one man’s opinion.

Now smile and go on with your day!

Freeman. B

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