Do you know who I truly and wholeheartedly admire? The people who bounce back. Oh, I love them. I love the resolve, the resilience, the courage, the tenacity, the “go getter” attitude they exhibit on a cellular level. And who doesn’t love a good come back? We love redemption. We all do and even those who claim they don’t, deep down within their hearts of hearts, they admire those who bounce back.
Please, keep in mind that I am not talking about those people who are seen as mythical figures, almost as surreal people. I am not talking about the people we hear from in the news. I am not talking about the Steve Jobs, Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Oprah, Hilary Clinton of this world. Frankly, as mythical as those people have become, they matter not. I believe the media pushes us to admire those people, who, full disclosure, should be admired, for real. To a certain extent, they are the epitome of “bouncing back” and we should admire them.
Yet, these wealthy, well connected, powerful, highly skilled people are legends because their downfall is as gargantuan as their rebirth. I also believe the media exaggerates some details to build those people to even more legendary and mythical status. The media turns them into these God-like creatures who almost walk on water. At the end of the day, they are mere mortals, but we almost worship them. I guess the media does what the media is supposed to do.
Those people don’t matter since I have never met them and never will. The people who truly matter when it comes to bouncing back, are the people I know intimately. I am talking about the people whose struggles are real to me because I have witnessed them. I am talking about the people whose downfall, struggles, failures, defeats, fuck ups, I have personally felt and seen. I am talking about the people whose anger, stress, desperation, frustration, fear, and anguish I have witnessed. Trust me when I say that seeing someone that you love, being down is quite crippling and it hurts. It always hurts to see someone that you love and care about being lost. I guess that’s why seeing them bounce back is such a thrill.
Moreover, seeing regular people, meaning people who aren’t millionaires and certainly not billionaires, bounce back is always a show of force. When you have money, it means you have power, connections, people who owe you a favor or money or an introduction to someone powerful. Furthermore, when you have money, you usually roll with people with money who can connect you and help you get back on your feet. Whereas regular people, with limited means, opportunities, and thin bank accounts, don’t have much room to maneuver and it is vastly harder for them to build their come back.
I do admire those known figures, but I admire people I know infinitely more. I admire my parents because they are still together despite coming from opposite backgrounds and I also admire them for making something of themselves and the corollary of that was offering me a comfortable life. I admire the single moms I know for battling with single-parenthood, one of the hardest things a human can do in this life. I admire my brother who has bounced back from some crazy ass situations and always comes back with a myriad of stories and lessons. I admire the kids who get cancer, fight through chemotherapies and hospital visits, and ultimately get better. I admire people who unfortunately get divorced and bounce back by rebuilding their lives. I admire the people who take care of a sick parent and yet find the time to smile, to laugh and they don’t allow those hardships to smother their humanity and kindness. I admire people who start businesses, put their hard-earned money in, lose it and then start another business. I admire the people who get dismissed for their obesity and health issues but who choose to radically change their lifestyles to save their own lives. I admire people who have lived through incredible family and personal traumas and who choose to seek therapy so they can get better. I admire victims of sexual abuse who refuse to be defined by their trauma and who find a way to heal and be advocates for change and prevention. I admire people who persevered on their dreams, who knew only rejection for years and who ended up living their dream. I admire people who lost their parents at a young age and who still made something of themselves despite the pain, sorrow, abandonment issues and trauma. Needless to say, I admire so many people.
Listen, bouncing back isn’t easy. If it were, everyone would but as we know, not everybody does. I believe bouncing back to be a muscle; if you work on it, well, that muscle will grow and bouncing back becomes a reflex. However, to bounce back, you must fall first. You must take a risk. You must put yourself out there. You must get out of your comfort zone, with all the consequences, especially negative, that entails. You must find the strength to bounce back and how do you acquire strength? By working on that muscle at the gym, in this case, by finding a way to bounce back.
You must possess resilience, perseverance, courage, to bounce back. But guess what? Resilience, perseverance, and courage are acquired, not innate. No one, I repeat, no one is born resilient, perseverant, and courageous. YOU ACQUIRE THINGS THROUGH FIRE, BLOOD, TEARS, TRIALS AND ERRORS!
So, bouncing back isn’t innate, nor is it given. Bouncing back is an active process, a continuous effort, a never-ending quest. Whatever you are going through right now, it will pass. Yet, it will pass easier if you actively do something about it. Doing nothing changes nothing. Doing something changes things. One last time; bouncing back is an active process, a behavior, a way of life. So, go out there, acquire those skills and bounce back.
Just one man’s opinion.
Now smile and go on with your day!